Sawasdee Kha

Just got back from one more exhilarating trip to Thailand, this time only limited to the capital city of Bangkok, the thriving, crowded, stylish Thai metropolis! One more, I say, is because I have been here multiple times, the last one being August 2011 and each time, it just gets better!

This one was a quick trip, 4 days to be precise and I was joined by my mum, the more seasoned Bangkok tourist, especially as far as the shopping goes. With mum around, bars and nightlife were out, so were the more adventurous, outdoor sporty kind of touristy things. But still Bangkok always gives us more reasons for excitement and fun!

This time I finally had the time to visit Ayutthaya - the ancient capital city of Thailand, on a day trip, just about 100 kms outside Bangkok. (trivia: There were 2 capitals of erstwhile Siam, original name of Thailand. Ayutthaya is its second capital, the first being - Sukhothai and the third, we all know - Bangkok). The historic city is dotted with stupas or chedis (buddhist temples) paying homage to the Buddha and ancient Thai Kings and is surrounded on three sides by 3 rivers. We also saw the summer palace of the current King of Thailand - Bang Pa In, a majestic European style holiday home with beautiful canals, golden buildings and a museum.

While the ruins of Ayutthaya itself evoke grand pictures of its past glory and grandeur, perhaps incomparable to anything I have seen recently, it was my companions on the trip, I found more interesting. They were rather amused too, I guess, by 2 Indian ladies, one dressed in the traditional salwar kameeze wanting to make this trip.

So here we were, intrepid travellers in an alien country packed in like a can of sardines in a small mini van going to Ayutthaya and starting from the backpackers mecca at Bangkok - Khao San Road!

• 2 German boys who had never been outside of Europe and rather delighted with the sights and sounds of the Asian countryside, 
• a chinese lady and her son, happy to see someone her own age, my mum, 
• an American couple, who by their own admission, said that it took 30 hours & multiple flights to reach Thailand
• 3 Japanese ladies, struggling to speak English, yet delighted by my smattering of broken Japanese and the Dad/Mom Japanese tattoos on my wrists
• 1 amorous French couple who couldnt keep their hands off each other!
• And a couple of others, more regular phirang types too!

We were joined by another bus, with an equally interesting set of travellers, all unique in their way. Our guide was a young Thai girl, who spoke english with a heavy Thai accent, so much so, that it became impossible to understand her unless you really concentrated on every word!

It was an interesting journey to say the least. Lost of conversations with the Germans and the Japanese and the occassional interjections by the American gentleman on the state of the American economy. One Chilean lady in the next bus was so fascinated by my mum's salwar kameeze, that she took a picture with my mum! It was a great day trip and we made a lot of friends!

The Bangkokians are warm friendly people. They are happy to show off their country and warmly welcome tourists. Yes, they are aware that their ladies are very much in demand by the older foreign gentlemen, but I guess, they feel its a way out of being poor.

Each time I go back, BKK changes a little bit, quite like shifting a bit on its axis.....there is something new, something added, the experience is always different each time. Its a great place to meet people from all over the world! Its also offers a great mix of fun and relaxation, history and modern!

I recomment BKK and Thailand anyday for a fab vacation!

Until next time!...Cheers!

P.S. This post was written over 2 sittings, so I kind of lost track on the way!

The Tiger has fallen silent!

Once upon a time, not too long ago, when the Tiger roared, all of Mumbai fell silent! Today, the Tiger has fallen silent and Mumbai honours this silence, with a stillness! The city that never sleeps, has fallen shut today! Its lost one of its arguably great warriors and the ordinary folk on its streets are shocked and confused!

This Tiger was none other than Balasaheb Thackeray, Supremo & founder of the local militant Maratha political party, the Shiv Sena. The Shiv Sena was founded by Thackeray on the principle of Maratha identity. Its main idealogy borrowed from a valiant, guerilla fighter/king of the 16th century - Shivaji, who consolidated the Marathi speaking kingdom in western India, (mostly Maharashtra in modern day India) and established his rule in the face of the powerful Mughals. Famous for his guerilla tactics in the Sahyadris, he conquered many a province from under the very noses of the Mughals and established Maratha rule with its mighty forts and strongholds. Shivaji's rule did not last long. His successors were not tactically strong enough to maintain their hold over the kingdom against the Mughals and the incoming British.

Balasaheb was nowhere near as accompolished as Shivaji. But he rose to prominence riding on the back of the great Maratha king, evoking the past grandeur of the Maratha identity and used this very populist messages to establish his influence over ordinary Maharahstrians. (I am a Maharashtrian myself!) Those days most Maharshatrians worked in famous cloth mills of Mumbai and he established himself overcoming the powerful trade union leaders - the Communists and then went on to form the Shiv Sena.

Maharashtrians traditionally are very simple people. The do not have the business acumen of the Gujaratis or the robust gregariousness of the Punjabis. They believe in simple employments and do not normally crave lofty ambitions. (Things have of course changed over the last 50 years. Many a Maharashtrian today has achieved tremendous success in almost all fields - be it business or education, science or medicine, entertainment or sport.)

Balasaheb, a cartoonist by profession, used this very simplicity to his advantage. Over the years, he launched strong attacks on the non-Marathi populace of Mumbai, a mainly cosmopolitan city, the financial capital of the country. And his band of followers - Sainiks, emboldened and unfettered, launched brazen attacks on the ordinary people, whom Balasaheb opposed. He was very fortright in his views. Mumbai was for Maharashtrians only. Ordinary Maharashtrians, long used to seeing "outsiders" migrating to to this beautiful city, were highly influenced by the notion he suggested that these migrants were the main reasons of loss of local jobs. Thus serially over time, the South Indians, then Gujaratis and lately the people from North India - mainly UP & Bihar had become easy targets of the Sainiks.

Yet ordinary Maharashtrains revered him and still do. To them, he was demi-God. The fact that he stood by his word, never went back on anything he said and was brazen and fearless enough to speak his firebrand mind just added to his ferocious persona. He was renowned by his sharp wit and straightforward views. Hence the epithet - Tiger!

National parties would call for various bandhs. Local Mumbaikars would only care for one thing. Is the Sena supporting the bandh? If no, then its life as usual. But if yes, then all the shops, establishments, public transport, schools, colleges & offices would be closed. Anyone who dared to keep their shop open or car on the road would be thrashed by one of his foot soldiers. So Mumbaikars knew the power of the Sena. It relied on him to defend itself at times!

Eventually, he decided to flex his muscles nationally. And the worst outcome of this ambition was the Mumbai riots, following the demolition of the Babri Masjid and then once again after the Bomb Blasts of 1992. Sena hooliganism reached anarchic proportions. Now, Thackeray became the upholder of not just the Maratha identity, but of entire Hindutva! India's Hindu identity was at stake, he proclaimed and thus, Muslim blood flowed freely on Mumbai's streets. This was the biggest blot on the history of Mumbai, once revered for its melting pot of all encompassing cosmopolitanism.

The Shiv Sena grew from a small state party to one now recognised on the national scene. Yet, its influence was mostly regional and always fundamentalist, extreme right wing! Mumbai's local Muncipal corporation has been ruled by the Sena for years now and sadly the infrastructure seems to just get worse. But each time there is a local election, its back in power miraculously!

I remember years ago, there was news of him being arrested for some inflamatory speech he has made, one of his many. And once the news spread, the city literally shut down in minutes. People ran home, shops shut, public transport came to a standstill. That was the power of one man. He was arrested and released in a few minutes, more of a token gesture, it seemed.

Years later, now, the Shiv Sena seems weakened due to the succession feud between Balasaheb's son  - Uddhav and his nephew - Raj, the latter forming his own party claiming the legacy of the Tiger - the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (MNS)! Raj carries most of his uncle's persona, his talent for carciature, his wit and his firebrand ways. Uddhav on the other hand appears milder and calm. Yet, the supremo chose his son to hand over the mantle of the Sena.

With increasing education among Maharashtrians, knowledge and less tolerance for violence from ordinary folk, the Shiv Sena is more tamed in its ways. Its violent image, now seems to be hijacked by the MNS. But its still a force to reckon with in Mumbai.

Balasaheb has been unwell for the last several months, he was 86 of course. On this Diwali, he fell terribly ill, never to recover. Mumbai had a subdued Bhau Bheej (day after Diwali & New Year) this year. As usual, the ground level Sainiks flexed their muscles and downed shutters again, on rumours of his death (which was subsequently denied).

Today, finally, he has breathed his last and once again I see the same panicked exodus from offices (though few were working today being a Saturday) and frantic rallying by ordinary Mumbaikars to get home to avoid any mob violence by crazed Sainiks, stunned by the loss of their beloved Tiger. There was a a profound sense of loss though. Balasaheb's home - Matoshree has been swamped by scores of his followers, maintaining all night vigils since he fell terribly ill a few days ago. The leaders seem headless and uninspired, appealing to Sainiks to maintain calm.

The Mumbai Police is out in full force - some 25000 of them, on cancelled Diwali leaves, manning the city day & night to prevent any untoward violence! Some say, his death had already occurred during Diwali, but the news was withheld on account of this important Hindu festival and was purposely announced on Saturday evening, keeping in mind that the next day was a holiday.

As I write this piece, I cant help but admire the man. I may not have agreed to his views all the time and certainly despised the bigotry and street justice he perpetrated. Yet, the power he held over the city was unparalled. Mumbai renowned for its famous Mumbai Spirit, its never say-die attitude - unfazed even in the times of Bomb Blasts, the massive flood of 2006, earthquakes, hell or high water, was time and again shut down by one word from this man!

Today, once his death was announced, and all of tomorrow, everything (and I mean, everything) is shut in Mumbai. This includes all public transport, markets, malls, movie theatres et al. Only the BEST buses & local trains will be running to ferry followers and Sainiks hoping to catch one last glimpse of their famous Tiger! Mumbai Police has issued several advisories to Mumbaikars to stay indoors. The funeral preparations are quite literally on a war scale. Unprecedented!!! I have never seen anything like this! Not even, I assume, this would happen for Prime Minister if he were to pass away!

Mumbai indeed has lost its roaring Tiger! I wonder if there will be another leader like him in the future. I hope his legacy lingers, though peacefully & more inclusively for all.

Mumbai & I salute this brave Maratha warrior!

RIP Balasaheb Thackeray!

Update on 18Nov2012: The funeral procession!

All the critics have been silenced today! As the funeral procession winds its way from Matoshree to Shivaji Park where he is to be cremated later today, I cant help but be amazed at the overwhelming outpouring of grief! There are 2 million people (at best estimates) forming part of this procession and counting! Its 7 kms long and there are more and more people joining in!

It is an unprecendented, stunning spectacle!!! Comparisons are now being made with the funeral procession of none other Nehru, the first Prime Minister of independent India! To all those people who say that Mumbai is closed out of fear, I guess this is the best answer to all the sceptics! Such large crowds of people, orderly and peaceful in their final march with their beloved leader is unheard of and unseen! Such is the power and legacy of this man!

From ashes to ashes, dust to dust.....the mortal remains will be consigned to flames at dusk today! Hope his soul finds peace!

Gangs of Wasseypur!

A lot of people who watch this film will probably walk away wondering what the hell was that! A lot of people probably wont get all the nuances and minute titbits of information scattered all over the place. And certainly a lot of urban folk, a world away from semi rural Jharkhand, will not connect with it at all!

 

Its like studying for an exam with so many characters, plots and sub plots. But if you have the patience and watch with concentration you are richly rewarded with the film that is most likely to become a cult classic later, like Agneepath for e.g. I have known people who have watched it a second time and come back with subtle nuances that were not so obvious the first time round.


The masses, over-fed on frothy, masala potboilers of late, like Rowdy Rathore, Bodyguard etc will simply hate this film (the film requires you to use your brain for a change, unlike run-of-the-mill crass cinema of today!!!). But, when the subtle layers and plots become obvious, when the characters, who you first thought were just extras to fill in the scene start to make sense, you will realise the depth of thinking that has gone into the making of this film and the extraordinary genius of Anurag Kashyap! No dialogue is out of place, each scene replete with references to something in the film...this is what great cinema is all about.

Cant wait for Part 2!

 Well done Anurag Kashyap and the entire team of GOW!

5 Rules I live by! Rule # 5

Take care of how you look!

Image is important! People judge you first by how you look & dress. So take the time out and look your best! Even if its just meeting with your friends! It will give your self confidence a boost!

Here's what I did!

1. Picked clothes that fit well:

So important! I have seen women who just either wear clothes that are too tight or too loose. Either ways, you lose out! Imgine having to stare at the massive chest of someone whose literally bursting out of her shirt! And to top it all, your male colleagues actually tell you to tell her to cover it up! How embarrasing for me?? And if it is embarrassing for mr to hear that, dont you thing, the lady in question should cover it up! Yes, we love our bodies, but let's accept that we need to camouflage whats out of proportion, isnt it. Not flaunt it so much, that it becomes a cause of embarrasment to all around. And trust me, no one is going to take you too seriously, if you are spilling out of your shirt! So dress appropriate.

2. Pick clothes that suit you and suit the situation:

Of course! I would love to tell some women I meet at work that what you are wearing is a wee bit too casual for work. Or the other way round sometimes! And then I know people who in their effort to be radically different end up looking like clowns or christmas trees! To such people I'd say...get a life! The insecurities are showing!

3. Brands work! Dont be cheap!

Yes, I love my brands! I know it sounds very haughty tauty of me! If you are earning reasonably well, there is just no excuse for picking stuff off fashion street & linking road! If you want to save money, invest well elsewhere! But dont compromise on fake stuff! It is so not cool. Dress within your means, but not at the cost of quality.

4. Wear Make up!!!

Its a boon, trust me! Learn the art! Its fun to experiment and see your best features come alive!

I've notices how much more confident I feel with just a simple eye liner & mascara. I know, most women are intimidated by make-up. I was too. Until I gave it a shot and learned to do myself up. And then it feels wonderful! Trust me on this one! Try it for yourself!

5. Accessorize well!

Be it an appropriate bag or a neckpiece. It does make a difference!

So make this change for yourself! However, you look. Whatever be your size. Its so important to put the best of ourselves out for the world. Every little bit of self confidence helps!

Cheers!!!

5 Rules I live by! Rule # 4

EXERCISE!!! (And try eating right!)

In my 20s I was worried about the way I looked, whether or not the opposite sex found me attractive, whether clothes fit me well and so on. I still didnt make the effort to work out, because probably I was in denial about my weight or more realistically, I didnt really care less. I wasnt attractive...OK! I wasnt someone guys would find appealing...OK! I didnt have those jaw dropping Aishwariya Rai-ésque looks.....OK! I resigned myself to the fact that the personality was more or less there, so I didnt really need to have that hour glass figure.

But truth has hit home! I am not in my 20s anymore. I have aches & pains now, that I have never had before. My dad has diabetes and high BP, my mum's family has a history of diabetes & she has high BP too. My last blood test showed that I had borderline high triglycerides and oh, did I forget to mention the doc says PCOD is a concern for me too! Suddenly, it was not so much the hour glass figure and jaw dropping looks to appeal to random men! Its my very health and life at stake. My lack of concern for my health can suddenly & very easily make me sitting duck for these life-style diseases.

And lets not forget the fact that we work long hours in highly stressful workplaces in polluted cities, saddled with multiple worldly responsibilities and countless liaibilities like home & vehicle loans and monthly credit card dues. Its a domino effect. Any one health aspect knocked off balance might just set off a chain reaction of multiple diseases resulting in never ending doctors visits, a concoction of daily pills and dosages that further impair your body's natural defences and not to forget, all the money that you spent your lifetime working your butt off for, going into filling up hospital coffers and doctors' pockets!

Get real! Take care of your health! If you dont do it now, chances are you will be a prime candidate for insulin resistance and hypertension!! Its taken me 30 years to get to this conclusion. As kids, Dad used to ask us to run and play, get outdoors. We didnt have those multiple sources of entertainment that kids have now like playstations, iPads, laptops etc. So we played! Then as we grew older the pressures of life caught up, we lost confidence in ourselves and gave up on our bodies and perhaps even in the development of our minds! And as result, the pounds piled on! Emotional stresses lead to emotional eating! Bulging wallets lead to fancy dinners and nights out! Lates nights resulted in lazier more exhausted bodies!

And now I am facing the consequences for my lack of attention to the one body I have! All the salary credits, bonuses etc will not make much difference if I wont be able to enjoy the fruits of my labour today and later on in life!

So in my own little way, I have decided to exercise! Even if it means taking a daily walk, do it! I got to the gym at least 4-5 times a week. I try to walk at least 3 times a week and recently have started doing yoga. I dont care if I weight a 100 kgs, but if I am fit with no serious, adverse health indicators, I know I am on the right track! The weight will eventually go!

I try to eat right too! Punjabi genes inherited from my mom dont really help there! But I am trying! I may not be 100% fit, but I am getting there! So yes, the butter and ghee are still part of my diet, but in moderation now! I love that occasional glass of Coke, but I keep it occasional only! My sweet tooth is my biggest challenge and it will take a whole lot of will power to change that bad habit! But I have come this far and I am sure that I will be able to rein it in!

And not to forget, trying to be positive and happy.....to minimise the psychosomatic consequences of poor mental well being!

Make that health choice today! It might save your life tomorrow!!

Cheers! Happy Living, healthy eating!!
A

5 Rules I live by! Rule # 3

TRAVEL!!!

Travel has been a part of me since childhood. Dad worked with an Airline and so, by default, we travelled with him often. By 5-6 years of age I had seen NY, London, Far East etc. And travel was something I simply loved doing. He has retired since, but my insatiable appetite for exotic travel remains, the more offbeat, the better!

I often find myself planning for trips I intend to take in the middle of a busy day! I will suddenly open up a travel website and check out options for trips. The trips dont often materialise, but what the heck, that doesnt seem to stop me! Last year, I managed to visit 13 destinations, and mind you, all but one was an official visit to Goa.

Travel gives me a chance to disconnect with my mundane life. It allows me the anonymity of an unfamiliar destination. It broadens my mind to new ways of living, to new ideas, to new insights which staying at home doesmt allow me. I love to take in the history and culture of a new place and relate it to my own. I love to feel the peace of a remote location and contrast that to the hustle and bustle of chaotic Mumbai! Small town India fascinates me no end as I observe it through the eyes of a cosmopolitan urbane citizen of a bustling OTT metropolis like Mumbai. I love the small eating joints, the friendly welcoming nature of the small town folk and the local often amusing dialects and languages! India has so much to offer to us city people! Mumbai or Delhi is not India. India lives in its small towns of Pune, Jaipur, Amritsar, Manipal or Kochi! And I long to go back each time I visit a new city to make sure I've done almost every nook and cranny!

So also, with places abroad. While I love the appeal of international shopping destinations like Bangkok or Dubai, what atracts me is the more off-the-beaten path locales. I went to Koh Samui and was awstruck by the brillant green of the waters or the single monolith like rock islands which jutted out from the crystal clear waters of the Indo China sea. I loved equally the old style souks & the modern flashy malls of Dubai and yet found our crab fishing expedition off the coast of Umm al Quain delightful and exicting! The old world charm and architecture of Budapest was as appealing as the old church I went to in Frankfurt!

Travel gives me the opportunity to push my limits! Whether it is rafting down the mighty magnificent Ganga at Rishikesh or my terrible attempt at paddling a kayak or just snorkelling with the myriad colourful fish in Thailand, it challenges me and sends adrenaline pumping through my system! Makes me feel young & alive!!

Oh!!! I could go on & on! What I am trying to get at is that Travel for me, is my abode of peace, so to speak! I feel at peace when I am out on the road! Even if I have to travel alone, which I prefer, because I dont have to put up with anyone's diverse preferences to put it mildly, I love the idea of being out there taking in more of what this magnificent world has to offer!

So please ditch the tour operators, do it on your own, ''coz it more fun and hugely gratifying! And especially if you are a woman! Take along a companion or two (mostly like-minded, hopefully) and make the effort to travel because of the broader perspective it gives to your life! And trust me, with each journey, you will learn a little more about your own self, in addition to a little more of the world we live in!

I remember that Tata Safari ad. Posted here for your reference!



At the end of your worldly journey, you wont remember your corner office, your boardroom battles, deals you won or reports you created! What stays with you are your experiences, your extraordinary journeys and the people you met along the way!

Happy Travels People!!!

5 Rules I live by! Rule # 2

Learn to be happy alone....

This one is not easy! We crave human company from birth.....the touch & comfort of mum & dad, siblings....a friends circle in school and college....colleagues....family friends.....social & professional networks..etc. The list goes one. We are not meant to be solitary creatures. We love attention, as much as we deny it. We love being loved and we love being in the company of loved ones and doing fun things together.

I am a very social, outgoing person too. I love going out to party, being with friends, watching movies, meeting up over a cup of coffee. When I was seeing my ex, I was always out. Every weekend we were out. So making fancy plans for a saturday was the norm. And since he & I were always together, we, rather I, never felt the need for to be with someone else. Wrong move! We think relationships, friends, boyfriends are for ever! Truth is only immediate family is forever, that too with a caveat!

Since, I pretty much ignored all the rest for my relationship, when it ended, I suddenly found myself all alone on weekends, except for Parents for company. I found I had no one to talk to on a particularly bad day at work. I couldnt discuss my options and decisions with anyone. Yes, parents were around, but there is only that much that you, or rather, I can communicate with them. I was at an age when most, if not all, my friends were married, or in steady relationships, or even with kids. Here, I was the single misfit amongst this lot. So, it was but natural that I too was last priority for them. In my transition period (thats the time when you are out of the reltionship and still adjusting to being single again), I discovered that it was very easy for friends to just cancel plans they have made with me. And then, I made would make plans with those I was less familiar with only to find myself cancelling on them, simply because I did not feel stimulated enough by their company. I certainly didnt want to go out to meet people, for the sake of it.

So I took a step back and questioned this craving for company. Did I have to watch that much awaited Bollywood flick on the first weekend of its release? Did I have to try out a fancy new restaurant each weekend. Did I absolutely have to speak to friends or remain networked all the time. The answer was NO. I could watch that movie later when it came on TV or I could download and watch it. I could try and make that special Penne Masala Mafia from OOTB at home, thought it doesnt always turn out like theirs!! (humpf..its ok!!!). I didnt have to be out each Saturday night! I could spend it at home reading or just watching TV. That didnt make me uncool!

Essentially, it is about being less dependent and more self reliant for your own needs, the biggest need being, company. In the end, does it really matter, if you saw that movie first day, first show. Or does it matter, if you havent been to the most happening party places in town. What matters is, you are perfectly secure with being home alone on a Saturday night with a book for company. Then you dont have to rely on the outside world to keep you occupied. You can be home all day, flitting between reading, watching TV, doing household work, or sleeping or lazying on the couch...but yet remain perfectly happy within yourself!

I even found that I enjoyed shopping alone. Try it! You dont have to listen to someone else's opinion on your body and sense of style. You can choose what looks good on you and what doesnt. There is no pressure to conform, no pressure to appease your companion. Its just you by yourself in your world!

Your life doesnt end when you end up alone. You just need to learn to enjoy your company, not get agitated or upset when someone doesnt consider you important enough to respond to and most definitely, convince yourself that someone or something better is on it way! And once that is here, you wont have to be lonely thereafter!

Most people get scared of being alone. Learning and accepting this rule prepares you for any unlikely eventuality, should it oocur! Love yourself & learn to love your own company without expectations from anyone. Trust me it has helped!

Cheers and Happy Reading
A

5 Rules I live by! Rule # 1

I have 5 rules to live by & to die for! Why? Why am I creating rules? They shape my life. They help me face the world and fight whatever is thrown at me. They give me confidence and belief in myself. And I want to bring these 5 rules to you. So you dont have to spend 30 years of your life to discover these fundamental principles of life the hard way, like I have.

Here there are, a must for all women to know and internalise!


Rule #1: Love yourself unconditionally:

This is an old one. Everyone says this to you all the time. But how many times do we actually look ourselves in the mirror and admire whats good in us, rather than looking at that big nose, or those tyres around the waist. Stop, look in the mirror and tell yourself, you are beautiful. You dont have to be conventionally good looking. You can have that thick mid-riff and still be sexy! Oh, comon, oomphy & well rounded Vidya Balan altered the very definition of sexy as she gyrated to Oh La La. Loving yourself, also means, putting yourself first and according yourself the self-respect you deserve. I had to lose my self - respect to discover it again. You dont have to go through that. Keep that self-respect intact. Keep that Love for yourself intact. Remember people will treat you just as you treat yourself! So start loving yourself!

How? A good way to start is by learning to say NO. NO is power to You! You dont have to be nice to everyone all the time. Saying a firm No politely, not only will make you feel better, but will also make sure that the person starts to respect your time and space. Stop being a Doormat! Its ok. People will feel upset. At worse, they may hate you. But you still have you right? You dont have to be mean, rude. Dont use this NO to settle scores. Use it to protect yourself, but not at cost of enemity and jealousy and pettiness. Life's too short to spend it competing against others or being hateful.

We are given one life and one life only to gather all the positive karmas we can and thats what we will carry into our future and into our next life. Our karmas and our vidya - our learning. I firmly believe learning never goes waste. You should continue to enrich yourself with something new to learn everyday. In each life, the soul is enriched with new experiences and new thoughts. Dont let that learning stop or you'll stop growing. And to enrich yourself everyday is a form of love for yourself. Continuously striving for personal improvement is evidence enough that you love yourself!

This rule is fundamentally applicable to all women, young or old, single or married. Some women stop loving themselves after they have kids, they just let themselves go. You have to learn to love yourself if you want to see your kids grow up into healthy, wholesome adults.

So stop complaining about that fat or the dark circles or the pigmentation. Stop despairing over the past, over the lack of money or material possesions. Love yourself for what you are, Love your life for what it is. Coz everything in the world is relative. Someone's always going to richer or poorer than you. Someone's always going to be prettier or more beautiful. You have to play with the hand your dealt or lose the game!

Rule # 2....in my next post!

Love .....A

Leaving the Past Behind!

Going through the motions of falling in Love only to see that dream of a wholesome family life come crashing down is difficult, to put it mildly. Especially after knowing how close you came to making it happen. But times change, people change & most certainly, emotions change as well. So its but natural, that one must also keep evolving and altering one's state of being to come to terms with the dynamism of life.


When I realised my relationship with a man I loved, more than myself (perhaps), was over, I was lost, at sea. The relationship was over long before, but Love being blind, deaf & terribly stupid in my case, I just couldnt see this. I kept trying to make it work, compromising on my very self respect to make this man happy, so he would see just how much I cared and loved him. He knew it too. But for reasons known only to him, couldnt step up to the challenge to being My Man! And it takes a lot, mind you, to step into those massive shoes.


So here I was, 30, heart broken and to top it all, with my spirit, perhaps irrepairably damaged. I cried, I prayed, I turned to the Gods like never before and still, nothing budged. To top it all, I had problems at work as well. So, it seemed like nothing in my life was going right. I was down and out! I went through the cycle of guilt, self-blame, anger, despair and of course tears. Never had I loved a man like this. Whether he deserved it or not, well....thats debatable. But when you are in love, you are all consumed by the thoughts of your object of Love. You mind loses its sense of reality & direction. You are but, a lost puppy! You fail to see reason and even the constant advice by your well-meaning friends falls on deaf ears. At the end of it, your friends leave you to your means and ways, hoping you will see the light!


And the light did shine on me....finally!


In November, just before my 31st birthday, I decided to take a short holiday to Jaipur and surrounding cities of Ajmer & Pushkar. And it was with my favourite, much loved cousin from Chandigarh, an avid, but aloof, well-heeled photograhper and a female bohemian, fashion conscious colleague, with little knowledge of the world beyond Mumbai. With such diverse company, I found myself lonely and withdrawn. In Pushkar,as I sat at the beautiful Sunset point across the lake alone, while my cousin captured the sights of the picturesque holy town and my female companion did a round of yoga with the Israeli hippies there, I came to this conclusion, that Life had to change.


I decided, I had had enough. I couldnt go on like this. And worst of all, I knew I had to make this change myself and no one could or would help me with it. I had no close friends left really. Even with people I once considered close, I could feel a distance. I could no longer relate to them. Maybe, it was because, I had spent all my time focussing on a single person, I had forgotten that I had a life and a set of friends too. I knew I had to turn my life around.


And I did exactly that. When I returned, I mentally closed myself off to the past.


- I took to reading with gusto and read all I could lay my hands on. Now lonely Saturday nights with my old folks for company, werent as lonely any more. I read Amitav Ghosh & William Dalrymple and instantatenously was transported back in time to 17th & 18th century, India. I read Amish - his thrilling, fast paced Shiva Trilogy introuduced me to Shiv, my beloved God. I didnt read romantic novels, because they would make me feel terribly lonely again. So I chose my books with care. I took to reading Devdutt Pattanaik, well researched easy to read, pieces on Shiv & Vishnu & Ganpati. For the first time, I read Hindu mythology, which I had no clue about. And what it did was bring me close to my most wonderful Shiv.


- I returned to God, to Shiv. And miraculously, around the same time, there started a TV show on this magnificient Hindu diety, one of three that make up the Holy trinity of the most Supreme Gods in Hinduism (along with Vishnu and Brahma - who is God, but is not worshipped for various reasons). I slowly concentrated on God and my Love for Him grew. The more I read, the more fascinated I became. And I read somewhere "The greatest romance is with the Infinite. You have no idea how beautiful life can be. When you suddenly find God everywhere, when He comes and talks to you and guides you, the romance of divine love has begun." And thus began, my relationship with my God, with my Shiv.


- I watched TV shows on travel and exploration. I mentally pictured myself in those places. I made plans of travel in 2012. I saw shows on things I had never done before. Deep sea fishing, scuba, wild amazonian jungle travel. I tried to take in as much and have now drawn up a list of places to visit. I have always loved to travel and explore. And I have always been a lover of such programming. Earlier, I would discuss with my ex where all we would go. Now for some strange reason, I looked forward to going there myself. Or perhaps with a future companion. I now knew what kind of travel I wanted to do and am looking forward to it.


- I took stock of my life's goals. I had been a relcutant banker too long. It was time to go back to my roots and go back to doing something I was best at. Debating long & hard, I long-last knew I was best at events. Now I am actively seeking opporutnities that would delicately balance my love for this field and my economic & financial goals. Its been difficult coming. I still havent found anything. But, being alone, having had time to myself to do some serious soul searching, I have at least realised now after 9 years of corporate life that this is what I want to do. I now await my long overdue opportunity with bated breath.


- Finally, I started working on myself. My weight, which has ballooned to massive proportions, just has to go. I have renewed my workouts with new found vigour and vitality. I care about what I eat and how often I exercise. I take care now of how I dress and how I look. I am liking the Glow on my face that comes with a good workouts. In fact, I make it a point to tell myself each time I look in the mirror, that I am looking good, even with the spots on the face....(which I have learned to conceal well btw....:p)


Its not been easy. But I can confidently say, that I have managed to escape the downward spiral of self despair. I have emerged stronger and more confident of myself than before. And I am surely happy for the change thats already happened and for the wonderful life that awaits me now in my 30s!


Cheers & Happy reading!


Love......A

I am back

I am back to the world of Blogging!! Had deleted my earlier blog...it got too personal I guess! But Am's back now! Happy reading (and commenting too hopefully!) Cheers A