This one is not easy! We crave human company from birth.....the touch & comfort of mum & dad, siblings....a friends circle in school and college....colleagues....family friends.....social & professional networks..etc. The list goes one. We are not meant to be solitary creatures. We love attention, as much as we deny it. We love being loved and we love being in the company of loved ones and doing fun things together.
I am a very social, outgoing person too. I love going out to party, being with friends, watching movies, meeting up over a cup of coffee. When I was seeing my ex, I was always out. Every weekend we were out. So making fancy plans for a saturday was the norm. And since he & I were always together, we, rather I, never felt the need for to be with someone else. Wrong move! We think relationships, friends, boyfriends are for ever! Truth is only immediate family is forever, that too with a caveat!
Since, I pretty much ignored all the rest for my relationship, when it ended, I suddenly found myself all alone on weekends, except for Parents for company. I found I had no one to talk to on a particularly bad day at work. I couldnt discuss my options and decisions with anyone. Yes, parents were around, but there is only that much that you, or rather, I can communicate with them. I was at an age when most, if not all, my friends were married, or in steady relationships, or even with kids. Here, I was the single misfit amongst this lot. So, it was but natural that I too was last priority for them. In my transition period (thats the time when you are out of the reltionship and still adjusting to being single again), I discovered that it was very easy for friends to just cancel plans they have made with me. And then, I made would make plans with those I was less familiar with only to find myself cancelling on them, simply because I did not feel stimulated enough by their company. I certainly didnt want to go out to meet people, for the sake of it.
So I took a step back and questioned this craving for company. Did I have to watch that much awaited Bollywood flick on the first weekend of its release? Did I have to try out a fancy new restaurant each weekend. Did I absolutely have to speak to friends or remain networked all the time. The answer was NO. I could watch that movie later when it came on TV or I could download and watch it. I could try and make that special Penne Masala Mafia from OOTB at home, thought it doesnt always turn out like theirs!! (humpf..its ok!!!). I didnt have to be out each Saturday night! I could spend it at home reading or just watching TV. That didnt make me uncool!
Essentially, it is about being less dependent and more self reliant for your own needs, the biggest need being, company. In the end, does it really matter, if you saw that movie first day, first show. Or does it matter, if you havent been to the most happening party places in town. What matters is, you are perfectly secure with being home alone on a Saturday night with a book for company. Then you dont have to rely on the outside world to keep you occupied. You can be home all day, flitting between reading, watching TV, doing household work, or sleeping or lazying on the couch...but yet remain perfectly happy within yourself!
I even found that I enjoyed shopping alone. Try it! You dont have to listen to someone else's opinion on your body and sense of style. You can choose what looks good on you and what doesnt. There is no pressure to conform, no pressure to appease your companion. Its just you by yourself in your world!
Your life doesnt end when you end up alone. You just need to learn to enjoy your company, not get agitated or upset when someone doesnt consider you important enough to respond to and most definitely, convince yourself that someone or something better is on it way! And once that is here, you wont have to be lonely thereafter!
Most people get scared of being alone. Learning and accepting this rule prepares you for any unlikely eventuality, should it oocur! Love yourself & learn to love your own company without expectations from anyone. Trust me it has helped!
Cheers and Happy Reading
A
No comments:
Post a Comment